I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
