So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
