I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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