there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
