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stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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