you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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