Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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