Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
