big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
