There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
