i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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