good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
