its not stalking. its research.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
