Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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