her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
