SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
