Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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