You're so nebulous sometimes
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
