at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
