There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
