Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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