when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
