he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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