I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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