Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
