Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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