is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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