I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
