took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
