I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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