Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
