In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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