I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
