end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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