at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
