You really coming over, don't trick.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
