I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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