Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
