Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
