I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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