Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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