best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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