I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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