3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize