I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
