brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
