return my video game
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize