The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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