At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Man, jail baloney is awful.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
