i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
