ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
