Nicole vs. Life
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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