Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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