Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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