After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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