He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
