I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize