I must be too annoying 4 u.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The struggles of a small town man whore
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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