I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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