dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
