youre lurking in front of me
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
