u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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