When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
