she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
