please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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