MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
