Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
