Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
