Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Couch. On fire.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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