Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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