hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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