i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize