AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
