i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
