Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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