I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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